Ukulele + witty lyrics = enough said <3

I used to get upset over giant papercuts and math equations 
Nothing stuck in my craw more than dogfights and shopping malls and tax evasion 
And sexist tabloid culture and Brangelina and paparazzi 
And Proposition 8 and discrimination and neo-Nazis 

But anymore these things don’t seem to bother me 
Ever since I started hanging out with Mr. T 
He told me to stay out of drugs, and drink my milk 
And treat my mother right 
And I pity the fool who disagrees 

I disliked Gwen Stefani for her weird-ass voice and that stupid hair of hers 
And it felt like JK Rowling conspired to kill off all my favorite characters 
I disliked all the people I had to ride with on the commuter bus 
If Nancy Grace and I were to meet I would’ve kicked her in the uterus 

But my attitude has had a total overhaul 
Since Mr. T told me how to forgive them all 
He said “let the naysayers nay, I don’t care what they say, 
“It’s all jibber-jabber anyway” 
and I pity the fool who cannot rhyme. 

He said “I must go on, gotta help more kids and gotta spread my knowledge.” 
I said “T, please don’t go.” He said, “Hold it, kid! You’re old and you’re in college.” 
He said “You know all that I know, I can’t teach you nothing, I swear it’s true, 
Go out and live your life because there’s so much goodness in the world for you. 

“You go watch as Bob Ross paints himself some happy trees 
And those happy cows on TV make you happy cheese.” 
And then he dug in his spurs and rode into the sky on that thing from The Neverending Story 
And I pity the fool who mess with T